I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
