i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
