Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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