then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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