Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
