it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
