The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
