Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My cat gives me a boner
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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