i just google imaged poop.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Randomize
