i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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