yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
