Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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