it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize