Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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