I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
