you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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