I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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