Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
