If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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