so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
