The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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