so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
