THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize