How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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