"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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