I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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