i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
