You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
