i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
