I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
