He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
