Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize