Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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