If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
