it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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