Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize