I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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