Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
