yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
did i just pee glitter
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
