census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
