is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize