OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
