I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
