You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
