i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
