I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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