I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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