I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
