Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
