yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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