we have pet lesbian snakes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
