we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
