So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
