why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
