just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
