i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
