He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
