I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize