Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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