I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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