She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize